Top 10 (or so) things to do if you accidentally ‘pass gas’ during your lecture.

1. Gas blog postPause. Reflect. Continue.

2.  In a stern voice say, “Alright, whose ringtone is that?”

3. Contact your Union office and tell them it’s a stress-related condition and take off the rest of the semester.

 

4. If you have tenure, don’t worry; it doesn’t matter.

5. Immediately turn around and write on the board “He who smelt it, dealt it.”

6. Try to re-create the sound by squeaking your shoes on the floor.

7. Tell a quick joke to allow students to let out their suppressed laughter.

8. Offer all the students an A+ to keep their mouths shut.

9. Start thinking about how you’ll deal with your sudden fame when a student posts it on Youtube.

10. Deflect the situation by asking the class a hard question.

11. Avoid eye contact with all the students who are sitting in the front row.

12. Put on your best ‘P-P-P-Poker Face’.

13. Pull the fire alarm and don’t return to class…for the rest of the semester.

 

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