Top 10 (or so) signs that you should begin thinking about retirement.

– You start sniffing the white board markers to arouse your consciousness.

– Your eyes well up with tears when you see the physical resources department throwing out the last overhead projector.

– You start writing on the whiteboard with a white piece of chalk…and you don’t even notice there is anything wrong.

– You’re no longer ‘in the loop’ knowing about the latest, juicy department gossip.

– If you’re teaching a class about an hour or so after eating lunch, your eyes start to look like a deer in the headlights as you stare at your computer screen, followed by an involuntary twitch.

– You don’t know any of your students by name…and you don’t give a sh*t.

– Every conversation you have with your fellow profs ends with “I don’t remember students ever being this awful!”

– Your office starts to smell like death.

– The only reason you give so many breaks during class is so that you can go to the bathroom.

– The only reason you start showing videos in class is because it allows you the opportunity to sit down for a few minutes.

– You have over 3,000 draft emails that you forgot to send.

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