Top 10 (or so) reasons why it’s cool to be a college professor.

-You can look like a really cool action hero or evil villian when you wear a mortar board and gown.

-You can call yourself a ‘Professor’ and not a ‘Teacher’.

-By default, you are assumed to be somewhat intelligent.

-Free textbooks!

-You don’t ever have to worry if you’re making horrendous wardrobe choices because students are focussed on reading their text messages, not on what you’re wearing.

-If you get a good class time schedule, you can avoid rush hour traffic…both ways!

-You can tell Bill Gates that, contrary to his belief, ‘life is divided into semesters’!

-You can take your laser pointer home and spend hours of hilarious entertainment watching your stupid cat chase after the little red light.

-You get to eat in the staff lounge and use the real cutlery, not the sh*tty plastic stuff in the cafeteria that everyone else has to use.

-Young people will actually listen to you and do what you tell them…unlike your own kids.

-You will be ‘cool and trendy’ by knowing all of the latest trends in technology, slang vocabulary, and pop culture events. You can then use this knowledge at your next party to make your friends feel really old, stupid, and out-of-touch.

-June, July, and August!



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