Top 10 new terms every professor must know.

‘A Woodstock Wipeout’: Blanking out in mid-sentence during your lecture in front of the whole class.

‘Peripheral Fallout’: Realizing that you’ve been focused on lecturing only to the students sitting on one side of the class…for the last 15 minutes.

‘Time Machine re-entry’: Starting off a sentence with “I remember when I was in college…”

‘Chalk Outline Faux Pas’: Unknowingly wiping the front of your pants/dress with your hand after using chalk, leaving an outline of your handprint for all to see (trying to wipe it off in front of the class is actually worse, so don’t).

‘Bladder Brain’: A sudden brain distraction and loss of focus during the middle of your lecture due to a violent need to go to the bathroom.

‘Youtube Anxiety’: Saying or doing something in class that you hope doesn’t end up on Youtube.

‘Break leak’: Your “10 minute” class break turns into…well…22 minutes.

‘Professor Advisory Warning’: Catching yourself giving the same parental advice to your students that you give to your own kids.

‘Preacher Theft’: Shamelessly stealing body language tips from watching Sunday morning evangelists on TV.

‘Momentary Lapse of Fashion’: In the morning, making an inappropriate wardrobe decision thinking that you can recapture your youth and be like a student again. Unfortunately, instead, you look like you’re heading off to see an ‘80’s Hair Band’ concert.

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  1. charmaine says:

    I remember a couple woodstock wipeouts from your classes, yours were always a favourite!

  2. And people think I just make this stuff up. I remember those too…I blame the ‘Rush’ concert. : )