Top 10 (or so) fun ways to be a ‘Nutty Professor’ in class.

– Put an elastic band on your wrist and snap it every time you say the word “exam”.

– Have someone call your cellphone during class time, answer it, laugh out loud, and leave the room for 15 minutes. Upon your return, give the students a handout about unacceptable cell phone use in the classroom and sternly tell them “it won’t be tolerated.”

– Start teaching a totally different subject.

– As students start entering the class, sit in front of the projection screen watching any of the raunchy Miley Cyrus videos (male profs) or the Enrique Iglesias’ “Tonight I’m loving you’ video (female profs).

– Spend the first 20 minutes of the class chasing an imaginary fly around the room. As you frantically swing the fly swatter, curse and swear like a truck driver who’s just been cut off.

– Wear tight white pants and start dancing and singing the “Tight Pants” song as seen on the ‘Jimmy Fallon Show’.

– Put on the national anthem at the start of class, stand at attention at the front of the room, and start singing the words as loud and off-key as you can.

– Talk about yourself in the 3rd person…and then in the 4th person.

– Perform your whole lecture like a ventriloquist act using an Albert Einstein puppet.

– Have a change of clothes in your office and change into them on the break. Come back to class as if nothing is different.

– Start eating the chalk.

Share this article

Top 10 (or so) things students said to each other during the first day of class.

– “Where’s the Professor?”

– “Not bad, I’ll give her a 7/10…if she wasn’t over 50…maybe an 8.5/10.”

– “He was probably pretty hot when he was younger.”

– “Psst…check out this Youtube video, it’s hilarious!”

– “Do you know of any places near the college where I can park for free?”

– “I guess the class started without me?”

– “Whaddya mean that I just sat through the wrong class?”

– “Where’s the tutoring office?”

– “I think I might register for this class; it was pretty interesting.” (this WAS said to me at the end of class…lol).

– “Quick, go to ‘Google Translate’!”

– “I think I’ve just discovered the cure for my insomnia!”

– “B.Y.O.D.? I thought it was B.Y.O.B.?”

Share this article

The top 10 ‘must-have’ for college professors on the first day of class.

– A ‘signs of life’ detector.

– The agenda you revised 20 minutes before class.

– The ‘new and improved’ college policies and procedures.

– An ‘ice-breaker’ joke. “A professor walks into a bar…”

– The I.T. department phone number on speed dial.

– An ‘urban dictionary’ to translate student slang.

– Your best mum mum mum mah p-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face.

– A ‘Chrome Book’, ‘iPad’, ‘MacBook’, ‘PC’, ‘Smartphone’, ‘E-reader’, ‘PDA’…Coffee.

– The answers to the questions that you will definitely be asked: “Where’s the washrooms?”, “Is there an exam in this course?”, and “When’s the break?”.

– A key to get into the classroom.

Share this article